Here I am, floating in the pristine blue ocean on this glorious day, i looked up at the clear blue sky. I could swear that the sky and the water were the same color. I let a giggle slip realizing that just 4 hours ago I was flying in that sky to arrive at Maldives. From the airport, a water taxi takes passengers to their islands in this corner of the Indian Ocean. Once at the resort, I wasted no time in changing, renting a pair of snorkels to head out & explore the reef.
From the window in the plane, the green islands outlined with silver sand beaches looked just like luminous emeralds scattered about. Words fail me on how to describe the ocean. Pure. Refreshing. Vast. So beautiful that it took my breath away. I watched without blinking, just soaking in. My mind just free, calm & unthinking, trying to save all this to memory.
How can I feel the same powerful feeling of wonderment again and again? First in the airplane, then in the boat and then again now, in the ocean. I look back at the shore, palm trees and virgin beaches interrupting the blue horizon. Its like a wonder that's refusing to wane. I move languidly in the water, feeling the soft waves glide over me like satin and watching the late afternoon sun loosing its piquancy. I put on my snorkels again and turned around to face the ocean.
What a difference a perspective makes. One moment I am watching the endless sky consuming the horizon and the other moment I am a witness to the explosion of color underwater. The water making me feel vulnerable to the whole world of sea beneath me, as if I was an obvious, indiscreet onlooker, trespassing the schools of fish and colonies of reef. A couple feet below me and miles ahead of me, I could see every color that I could name and every shape that was beyond my imagination. Gems of reefs swaying gracefully, molding around the playful fish. I have to remind myself to keep breathing because the view frequently captures my breath! Fish, of all sizes and colors, stingray, sea horses, eels, turtles, all of them equally surprised by their visitor and the visitor herself amazed at every blink.
I cannot get enough of it, even without trying I am swimming away from the shore, moving from the inner reef to the reef crest. The ocean floor in gradual decent and density of reef increasing. The bio diversity, unlike anything that can be recreated in an aquarium, the harmony of sea life seemingly choreographed around me, for me. A shiver runs through me but I fail to realize that the water temperature is getting cold. I had walked into the water but i was now about 10 feet above the floor. I'm not a good swimmer, so quickly i reach out to the diver nearest to me. Though amateur, he is practicing for his upcoming deep sea dive. He holds onto my hand and points at a place behind me and signals me to be calm. I turn around and freak. Just a couple feet ahead of me is the ocean cliff. The diver held my hand and put another on my shoulder to steady my, almost as if irritated by my reaction. Calm down, he signaled. I did.
For a few moments I saw the most beautiful view, the sun rays slashing through the surface of the water blended in with the darkness like water color, the schools of fish exponentially bigger with thousands of them moving in tandem, the colorful reefs as if giving respect to the boundaries and only a few bold ones venturing to live on the side of the ocean wall. The temperature dropped a few degrees and the water pressure changed. The density of the water was overwhelming, for once gravity was failing as I floated above the cliff, sea life emerged from the depths with the as much ease as they disappeared back into it. The chasm staring back at me, if I ever understood what abyss meant, here it was, right in front of me. Infinite. If I ever had a moment in my life where I held not a single thought in my mind or not moved a single muscle in my body, this was it. Suspended, between sky and the ocean, if i ever understood what dreamlike could be, this was it.
My being the most insignificant thing in this universe was never more obvious than it was in this moment. It was as if humility devoured me, showing me the expanse of everything in life, the illusion of security, the futility of discord or opinion, the discernible divergence & diversity, the power hope and the efficiency of fear. And the meaning of it all....it just 'is'.
I wasn't moving a muscle but i was floating away. The diver tugged at my hand and despite my trans, we started to swim towards the shore. Every now and then I would turn to see the depths I left behind as if trying to recapture the moment between me and the altruistic ocean. Once at the shore, the diver started to ramble something about being alert, aware and giving me tips on how to venture out to the ocean wall again. I wasn't listening. I was not going back there even though all I wanted was to go back. Words have a way of polluting the chasteness of an experience and if I returned to the ocean wall, I would carry with me the burden of expectation, memory and my thoughts.
And i liked it better this way, one memory was enough for the rest of my life. And in my dreams, heaven is underwater, not in the clouds.
